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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 2940844" data-attributes="member: 14320">GUIDE TO MEN1. Never sleep with a man who has named his penis.2. Don't imagine you can change a man unless he is in diapers.3. Never let your man's mind wander ... it's too little to belet out alone.4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? ... You lockthe door behind him.5. If he asks what sort of books you like, tell him "checkbooks."6. If they can put a man on the moon, they should be able toput them all there.7. A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump is unquestionably gay.8. You might as well go for younger men ... they never mature anyway.9. Women don't make fools of men ... most of them are thedo-it-yourself type.10. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.11. A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh, all right,I'll staythe night."12. Definition of a bachelor: a man who missed the opportunityto make some woman miserable.13. Remember, a sense of humor does not mean that you tell himjokes it means you laugh at his.14. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggestthat they're too old for it.15. Remember that you are known by the idiot you accompany.16. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.17. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40years,proving that even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.18. So many men, so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.19. Tell him you're not his type: you have a pulse.20. Never do housework ... No man has ever made love to a womanbecause the house was spotless.21. If he asks you if you're faking it, tell him no, you're just practicing.22. When he asks you if he's your first, tell him, "You may be; youlook familiar."23. Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn'teven bother to have lunch with.24. The only reason men are on this planet is that vibrators can'tdance or buy drinks.25. Men are all the same; they just have different faces so you cantell them apart.</blockquote>