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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064544232" data-attributes="member: 14320">Phat JokesThere was a guy who really loved fat women. He would always go nuts over them. He went to a bar one night and noticed a fat woman walk in. Well he literally wet his pants, so he went over to her and eventually ended up at her house, and sweet talked his way into her bed.Anyway, they started fucking away and after awhile the guy says, "Can we turn the light off please?""Why," said the fat woman, "Am I that ugly?""No," replied the guy, "It's just that while I'm fucking you I keep burning my arse on the lightbulb!"How do you know when your woman is too fat? When she needs an hour to take a shit - 45 minutes just to line her arse up!How do you find a fat girl's cunt? You flip through the folds until you smell shit, and then go back one!How do you fuck a fat girl?Roll her in flour and head for the wet spot!How can you tell when your girlfriend is too fat?When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo!How can you tell when your overweight?When you step on your dog's tail and it dies!How do you know when you are just TOO fat?Your car has stretch marks!What do fat women and mopeds have in common? They are both fun to ride but you don't want your friend's to see you on either of them!Mick, a 400 pound country boy had a lot of trouble getting dates with girls. His friends, however, found a 350 pound girl who seemed willing to go out with him. Before his first date, Mick's friend's advised him to be nice to her at first."Compliment her on something." They told him, "Chicks always like to hear good things about themselves!"Mick decided to give it a try, so he left to pick up his hefty honey. His friends were surprised when Mick returned an hour later, all alone."What happened?" his friends asked."I dunno," Mick replied, "After walking her from the door to the car, I took your advice, and she ran off crying.""What did you say to her Mick?" his friends asked."I told her that for a fat, ugly broad, she didn't sweat so much!" cried Mick.</blockquote>