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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064009643" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Naughty Little Johnny</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Little Johnny kept disrupting his third grade class by regularly</p><p>letting loud farts. His teacher kept him after school.</p><p>When she insisted on knowing why he exhibited such offensive behavior,</p><p>Little Johnny said, "I do it because I can do it better than anybody,</p><p>and I'm very proud of that fact."</p><p>The teacher says, "If I show you I can do it better than you, will</p><p>you stop?"</p><p>Little Johnny agreed and the teacher placed two pieces of paper on the</p><p>floor with identical piles of chalk dust on each one.</p><p>Johnny dropped his pants, squatted down, farted and blew all but a tiny</p><p>little speck of dust off the paper.</p><p>The teacher dropped her panties, lifted her skirt, squatted down and</p><p>farted but when she was done, and there was not a trace of chalk dust</p><p>left on the paper. Johnny was astonished and asked if he could see her</p><p>do it again. She was willing and as she repeated the process, Johnny</p><p>peeked up underneath her skirt.</p><p>"No wonder you won!" he exclaimed indignantly,</p><p>"you've got a Double-Barrel!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">]]]]</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Tim: Sam, I hear you just got married again.</p><p>Sam: Yes, for the fourth time.</p><p>Tim: What happened to your first three wives?</p><p>Sam: They all died, Tim.</p><p>Tim: How did that happen?</p><p>Sam: My first wife ate poison mushrooms.</p><p>Tim: How terrible! And your second?</p><p>Sam: She ate poison mushrooms.</p><p>Tim: And your third ate poison mushrooms too?</p><p>Sam: Oh, no. She died of a broken neck.</p><p>Tim: I see; an accident.</p><p>Sam: Not exactly. She wouldn't eat the mushrooms.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">]]]]</span></strong></p><p></p><p>How are new girl friends like a fresh roll of toilet paper? Sometimes</p><p>it's hard to get the first piece, but after that you can rip one off</p><p>anytime.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">]]]]</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Excess is the part of breast that does not fit in your mouth and</p><p>surplus is the other breast.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">]]]]</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Description of a muff dive.</p><p>Starts out like butterfly sucking pollen and ends up like a bulldog</p><p>eating yogurt.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064009643, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Naughty Little Johnny[/COLOR][/B] Little Johnny kept disrupting his third grade class by regularly letting loud farts. His teacher kept him after school. When she insisted on knowing why he exhibited such offensive behavior, Little Johnny said, "I do it because I can do it better than anybody, and I'm very proud of that fact." The teacher says, "If I show you I can do it better than you, will you stop?" Little Johnny agreed and the teacher placed two pieces of paper on the floor with identical piles of chalk dust on each one. Johnny dropped his pants, squatted down, farted and blew all but a tiny little speck of dust off the paper. The teacher dropped her panties, lifted her skirt, squatted down and farted but when she was done, and there was not a trace of chalk dust left on the paper. Johnny was astonished and asked if he could see her do it again. She was willing and as she repeated the process, Johnny peeked up underneath her skirt. "No wonder you won!" he exclaimed indignantly, "you've got a Double-Barrel!" [B][COLOR="Red"]]]]][/COLOR][/B] Tim: Sam, I hear you just got married again. Sam: Yes, for the fourth time. Tim: What happened to your first three wives? Sam: They all died, Tim. Tim: How did that happen? Sam: My first wife ate poison mushrooms. Tim: How terrible! And your second? Sam: She ate poison mushrooms. Tim: And your third ate poison mushrooms too? Sam: Oh, no. She died of a broken neck. Tim: I see; an accident. Sam: Not exactly. She wouldn't eat the mushrooms. [B][COLOR="Red"]]]]][/COLOR][/B] How are new girl friends like a fresh roll of toilet paper? Sometimes it's hard to get the first piece, but after that you can rip one off anytime. [B][COLOR="Red"]]]]][/COLOR][/B] Excess is the part of breast that does not fit in your mouth and surplus is the other breast. [B][COLOR="Red"]]]]][/COLOR][/B] Description of a muff dive. Starts out like butterfly sucking pollen and ends up like a bulldog eating yogurt. [/QUOTE]
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