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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063802447" data-attributes="member: 14320"> Railroad TracksAn ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face."What are you so happy about?" asks the barman."Well I'll tell you," replies the ugly bloke, "you know Ilive by therailway. Well, on my way home last night I noticeda young woman tiedto the tracks, like in the movies. Of course,I went and cut her free andtook her back to my place. Anyway, to make along story short, I scoredbig time. We made love all night, all over the house.We did everything,sometimes me on top, sometimes her on top.""Fantastic," exclaimed the barman. "You lucky sod.Was she pretty?""I don't know, I never found her head."JKLQ. What did the lesbian bumper sticker say?A. "Save a tree. Eat a beaver."Q. What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?A. Fur TradersQ. What's a queers favorite dish in a Chinese restaurant?A. Cream of Sum Yung Guy.Q. Did you hear about the queer termite?A. He went for the woodpecker.Q. Two gays and two lesbians are all fleeing the country.Which pair is going to make it out first?A. The two gays... they already have their shit packed.Q. What's the definition of "hell on earth?"A. A blind lesbian in a fish store.JKLTHE REAL MEANING OF ABCA IS FOR ASS UPON WHICH YOU SIT, THE HOLE IN THEBOTTOM THROUGH WHICH YOU SHIT.B IS FOR BALLS EACH MAN HAS A PAIR A WRINKEDOLD BAG ALL COVERED WITH HAIR.C IS FOR CUNT ALL JUICEY AND THICK, IT IS HOMESWEET HOME TO A SEVEN INCH PRICK.JKLA young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad.""Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."JKLA man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow myload in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!"To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads inyour mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"Bulls And CowsAn old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the cowsand was lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the localbeer hall.One of them said, "Ya know, Ben, I used to have the same trouble with mybull, but I got it fixed really quick.""How did you get it fixed?" asked Ben."Well I just dipped my finger in the cow's vagina and rubbed it all overthe bull's nose and he got right after her."Ben went home to the farm and decided to try it. He grabbed a cow,dipped his fingers in the cow's vagina and rubbed it all around thebull's nose.The bull got a rip roaring boner and immediately jumped on the cow.Ben was impressed. That night, he got into bed with his wife and can'tget the effect on the bull out of his mind. As she lay sleeping, Bendips his fingers into his wife's vagina and feeling that it was nice andwet, rubbed it all around his nose and got a rip roaring hard on.He quickly shook his wife awake and cried out, "Honey, look!"She rolled over, turned on the light and said, "You mean you woke me upin the middle of the night just to show me that you have a nosebleed?"{{{{{There Once was a man From NantucketWhose c*ck was so long he could suck itHe said with a grinWhile wiping his chinIf my ear were a c*nt I would f*ck itThere once was a man from Kansas,Who's nuts were made out of brassIn stormy weather,he'd clack them togetherand lightning shot out of his ass</blockquote>

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