this one is dem nice hahaha
to all players out there, beware :lol: :lol: :D
http://thehustlerdiaries.blogspot.com/2005...act-part-i.html
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
CaUgHT iN tHe AcT! (Part I)
( i summarize it , skip the boring parts bla bla bla )
I think you know what I mean right? So today’s post is about the incidents when Robert was caught red-handed by his wife and yet how he managed to wrangle out of it. Of course his wife doesn’t 100% believe his stories or explanations but as Robert always says, “No matter what, just deny everything! If you admit, then you are gone for! At least if you deny, there is still some element of doubt!” This would probably explain to women on "why is it that men lie and deny having an affair" despite being caught-red-handed.
DISCLAIMER!!!
Now, this post is not about encouraging men to lie about their affairs but to look at funny side of the blundering attempts by a guy to cover up his ‘sins’ when caught.
It is so lame and ridiculous; the excuses I mean that I decided to blog it so that we can all have a good laugh together. The following are four ‘caught in the act’ stories which all involved Robert and how he ‘managed’ to bluff it off…whether it was convincing enough or not, I leave it up to you guys and gals to decide. I kinda think that the following stories are something like “Madu Tiga” - the fantastic movie by the late P.Ramlee (a famous malay actor in Malaysia).
Act 1 - Caught with ‘erotic’ voice-mail on his handphone.
My pal Robert was driving around KL with his 2nd wife when suddenly his phone rings and since he was driving, he mentioned casually to his wife that he’ll call the person back later. Suddenly, there was a beep which indicated a message (voice mail) had been received. Robert’s wife took the phone and checked the voice mail, which said, “Honey, I’m horny!!! When are you coming over to my house???”
No shit man! That’s the exact words! Robert’s wife then threw the handphone at him and at such close range (only in the car wat!); it hit his head and started screaming at him. Robert then proceeded to give an excuse “Hey! It’s just the guys at the office playing a practical joke on me lah! Why are you so suspicious???” It took him quite some time to cool-off his furious wifey! A few nights after this happened, Robert called me up and told me this over a couple of beers. He said “I nearly sh*t in my pants bro!!!!! Brrrrrr!!! Scary, you know!”
Act 2 - Caught with some other girl’s hair on the car seat.
Robert’s wife Celia is a lady who is a very detailed person and tends to scrutinize everything and anything she comes across, err especially where Robert is concerned. Once whilst getting into the car, she saw a long strand of hair which definitely didn’t belong to her because it was brown with some golden highlights.
Robert actually was panicking inside when he was being questioned but managed to cover up, saying “I took some of my colleagues out to lunch this afternoon – must have been one of them who left this hair”. Said Robert to me much later on “Phew!!! That was a really close call, bro!”
Act 3 - Caught with some lipstick on his shirt.
Late one night, leaving his mistress’ apartment after some long hours of hot deliciously ‘sinful’ sex, Robert came home, stripped off his clothes and went to sleep.
Next morning, he woke up to the sound of his wife screaming at him and shaking his shirt angrily at him! Celia yelled angrily “You damn ‘ham ka chan’ (bastard!)!!! Which bitch left this lipstick stain on your shirtsleeve? What were you doing last night??? Working late or showing off your kukuchiau (aka dick)???”
Robert said to me “Fuck man! I was shaking like shit but I managed to compose myself! I said to Celia ‘This one is my friend’s (the Hustler) gf and she just gave me a friendly kiss! You knowla Hustler always likes hot women and besides you can call him up and check!’ LoL! Fuck man! I had no choice!!! I had to get you involved to save my skin! She was really fucking furious, you know! Hey, you cover up for me if she calls ya? Drinks on me tonight!!!”
Act 4 - Caught with a girl in the car.
Driving one evening with a long leggy cute girl in his new BMW and anticipating a great ‘bonk’ session with this model he had gotten to know recently, Robert was in 7th heaven! Suddenly his handphone rings and it was his wife, Celia calling!!!
Said Celia to Robert “Where are you and what are you doing?” Robert didn’t realize anything amiss but just to be safe, he said “I am driving to meet some people on business.” Celia angrily yelled at him “Bullshit! Turn around! I am just driving my car behind your car! What the hell is that young girl sitting next to you for? And what kind of bullshit meeting are you going to???”
Whoaaaa!!! Panic like hell!!! One thing about Robert is that he’s a street-smart cool-thinker who always thinks on the run. Pulling himself together in spite of his bladder just about to burst with piss all over his pants, Robert answered “Oh this girl! She’s one of my business associate’s cousin and I am just doing him a favor by dropping her off at the next corner!”
Needless to say, the girl next to Robert was also pissed off with him because he "dumped" her in some forsaken place at Old Klang Road with RM50 for taxi-fare and disappeared. Robert tried to contact the girl later for another fuck session but the girl had by this time gotten so-pissed with him and he didn’t get any ‘loving’ from her ever.
