SMS from TwistedAngel

[twistedangel]

some guys are so rude..
even when ya talk to em..
they get all rude n grumpy..
arghhh..n to think u were bein nice!!!!

 

[jiggly_head]

whuts wit da emoticons? and zth is so slow it took some time to load those, andd i hate bitchney spears bahahha shes a biatch... okaye i wuz just bored.... but still things like this happens when you are.!!

 

[firewire]

what happened, TA ? :unsure:

 

[twistedangel]

heh was angry with someone firewire..
still am..rude bloody asshole..
im gonna ignore u frm now on..

jiggly...what? hehehe ur really talkin crap huh
hehehehe :D

 

[jiggly_head]

crap is my forte :)

 

[twistedangel]

oh really..wonder whats mine then lmao..
:P

 

[twistedangel]

yay club7 tt tomoro..
with the guys frm zth...
wohooo...
finally nite plans... hehehee
:D :D :D

 

[twistedangel]

The anger and rage boils within
Feeling my temper rise again
Is there no stop to this
Is there true happiness?

Questions I ask my daily
Not understanding this self hatred
Never feeling worthy
Of anything good

Feeling a need for self-punishment
And a need to see blood
All I feel is judgement
All I am is mis-understood

Don't know where I'll cut this time
Cause everytime I'm found out
I just need to feel ease, peace of mind
And no, death is not what this is about.
Not this time :(

 

[twistedangel]

You really so make my blood run cold,
Down the stream of insanity you have been sold,
The sick things that you do day after day,
Make my stomach churn I don’t know what to say.

What made you the way that you are?
I know your soul carries an eternal scar,
I know you have stared into the face of death,
For so long wanted to take your last breath.

You have hated everyone who has entered your life,
Flirted like mad with the edge of a knife,
You have laughed in the face of so much danger,
Hated your mother for being a stranger.

The only person that I have ever feared is you,
Because I have seen just what you can do,
I have seen the way your mind just flips,
Away from reality & sanity you can slip.

You always thought that rape was your fault,
Didn’t like the hand you’d been dealt,
There are so many things that make me cringe,
Show to me that you are totally unhinged.

My blood runs cold when I see your face,
I see all your rage that you have misplaced,
Over the years you have created so much pain,
The reason you scare me is because I think you’re insane

 

[twistedangel]

Today I take a stand see this gun in my hand.
You criticize the way I dress, my bullet will be your last caress.
Sick and tired of being pushed around I am going to slam your head to the ground.
I want to kick you in your face look at you now what a disgrace.
In your crowd I couldn’t blend wouldn’t even let me be your friend.
In my face you spit and welcomed me with your hit.
I blew your brains out didn’t give you time to shout.
No longer a big man as I throw you in my van.
Today I blew a fuse no longer taking your abuse.
I want you dead you deserve what you get.
Maybe next time you won’t be such slime
Oh my bad it’s too late you already had a date…with death!

 

[twistedangel]

Beep, beep goes the machine,
Keeping me alive everyone seems keen,
All I wanted was to curl up & die,
But I wasn’t allowed I ask you why?

Why did you phone for the ambulance?
Why didn’t you let my suicide have its chance?
I didn’t want to stay alive why couldn’t you see?
To die was the only way I could be free.

Free from the unseen pain & torment,
No longer would I be unable to vent,
I would feel nothing from hurt to love,
As I placed my hand in the reapers glove.

But you saved me from meeting my death,
Stopped me from enjoying my last breath,
Now I have to suffer & live for another day,
All I wanted was for life to go away.

I just couldn’t go on I don’t have the strength,
I knew this fact as I swallowed my tenth,
Pill which was my choice, my only way out,
It would have worked I had no doubts.

That was until you found me laying there,
Why oh why did you have to show you care?
Next time please just leave me dying on the floor,
Just leave me to rot right through to my core.

 

[twistedangel]

Who would have thought
This is how we would be
This is what has become
Of what was once you and me

I pour out my heart
But you don't say a word
But every soft whisper
In your heart I know is heard

When I do hear your voice
Calling out to me
I turn to run to you
Then know it cannot be

I reach out to touch you
To hold you once again
But you don't reach back
Leaving an emptiness within

My hand sweeps across the ground
Where you now peacefully sleep
Longing for you to reach up
And rise from the grave, so deep

I gently kiss your name
Engraved upon the stone
And am left to cry at your graveside
Left to cry alone

I long to know so many answers
As to why you left me without saying good-bye
And what caused you to hurt so badly
That you felt you must die

I wish I could have been there for you
And often think of taking your same route
But then I think of all life's blessings
All the blessings you did without

I will face all of life's battles
Without you by my side
I can't help but think if I had fought them with you
Would it be you who would have died?

I'm sorry I wasn't there for you
But I will never leave you now
I will see you once again
But for now must go on... somehow

Tears drop from my grieving eyes
As I lay roses at your stone
And am left to cry at your graveside
Left to cry
...alone...


this was for a friend that has passed away..
still feel the pain everytime i think of it..

 

[HidSeller]

Woo so many still alive

 

[twistedangel]

I'm through
I can't take this anymore
Tonight i'm going away
I go in my room, lock the door
I won't make a single sound
I take the knife that's been waiting ever so patiently
I look at the knife with a childs amusing stare
To me this is my way out
Something new i've never felt
I caress the blade with new found wonder
Heat rushes in and out of my body
I grab hold
Stab through to my heart with one single blow
Suddenly it's hard to breathe
I pull this knife out slowly
Twisting it around as it goes
Seeping blood soaks my shirt
With it's dark crimson color
I gaze at the blade with confidence
And plunge it deep inside myself again
Soon i'll know i'll be dead
Once more I pull it out
My breath ragged and fast
I hold back this urge to laugh
I set the knife next to the note
And lye myself down upon the floor
As the room grows dim
I begin to pray that they will understand
Why I had to go

 

[twistedangel]

its only me hidseller compiling my writting hoping that u guys might read it n comment on it..

 

[twistedangel]

bring me to this realization,
this hell within.

words cannot tell how wretched i am
passing down the halls you breathe

i speak of the devil,
and nothing more

of murder and sin
darkness flows in my veins

taunting me to cut and let them flow free
to stain the sheets and lifes eyes.

watch me as i cut
slice my wrists

watch me live
then watch me die.

 

[twistedangel]

hey if anyone actually reads the poems ..
id like some comments..
n what ya think bout it..
just wondering..
ive nvr shared my writtings before..

 

[EG8]

angel

how old are you? if u dun mind?

 

[linkinfive]

hey twistedangel.. im linkinfive.. not really active in zth.com but visits the site often. i always see the thread here but never really took the time to read them, until today.. im sorry to hear what happened.. but life goes on yeah? keep in track with yourself and i guess most of the advices given here are very good. i would say the same too, treasure life and there are someone meant for us somewhere out there.. it only takes time to reach them. always remember to treasure life. whatever that has happened, do not let them to take control over you.. its your life.. dont let emotions and stress take over it okay? and always remember.. life goes on, but memories and experiences stays with us.. take them as reference.. and clean the bad ones away.. put them in a box and close it :)

ive read your poems.. its very meaningful.. you must be someone who writes a lot and thinks a lot.. its good to think ahead of everything.. but dont stress yourself out too much :) erm.. condolence to your friend..

twistedangel.. be strong okay? ;)

 

[BabyPups]

Who pissed ya twisted

i am so mad.....
thought i can get a fake MC to chill at home :P
damn doctor