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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 2969748" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>Cool One Liners</strong></p><p></p><p>After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I</p><p>was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes,</p><p>dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."</p><p></p><p>When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than</p><p>to let him keep her.</p><p></p><p>I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to</p><p>interrupt her.</p><p></p><p>My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So now I have</p><p>two girlfriends.</p><p></p><p>A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to</p><p>report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.</p><p></p><p>Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the</p><p>street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they</p><p>are beautiful.</p><p></p><p>Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?</p><p></p><p>One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.</p><p></p><p>Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...</p><p></p><p>I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.</p><p></p><p>Excuses are like asses everyone's got em and they all stink.</p><p></p><p>When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.</p><p></p><p>Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure her husband's away!</p><p></p><p>What's the best date to bring on a picnic? One who will arch her back so your balls don't get grass-stained.</p><p></p><p>Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"</p><p></p><p>I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 2969748, member: 14320"] [B]Cool One Liners[/B] After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her. My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So now I have two girlfriends. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. Excuses are like asses everyone's got em and they all stink. When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness. Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure her husband's away! What's the best date to bring on a picnic? One who will arch her back so your balls don't get grass-stained. Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!" I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming? [/QUOTE]
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