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Joke coner
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<blockquote data-quote="b00n" data-source="post: 2265088" data-attributes="member: 16751"><p>Sorry, still can't locate the BUddha story I'm talking about. But here's a few definitions to ponder upon:</p><p></p><p><strong>School</strong>:</p><p>A place where Papa pays and Son plays.</p><p></p><p><strong>Life Insurance</strong>:</p><p>A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.</p><p></p><p><strong>Nurse</strong>:</p><p>A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.</p><p></p><p><strong>Marriage</strong>:</p><p>It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.</p><p></p><p><strong>Divorce</strong>:</p><p>Future tense of Marriage.</p><p></p><p><strong>Tears</strong>:</p><p>The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.</p><p></p><p><strong>Lecture</strong>:</p><p>An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"</p><p></p><p><strong>Conference</strong>:</p><p>The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.</p><p></p><p><strong>Compromise</strong>:</p><p>The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.</p><p></p><p><strong>Dictionary </strong>:</p><p>A place where success comes before work.</p><p></p><p><strong>Conference Room</strong>: </p><p>A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.</p><p></p><p><strong>Father</strong>:</p><p>A banker provided by nature.</p><p></p><p><strong>Criminal</strong>:</p><p>A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.</p><p></p><p><strong>Boss </strong>: </p><p>Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.</p><p></p><p><strong>Politician </strong>:</p><p>One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.</p><p></p><p><strong>Doctor </strong>:</p><p>A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.</p><p></p><p><strong>Classic</strong>: </p><p>Books, which people praise, but do not read.</p><p></p><p><strong>Smile</strong>:</p><p>curve that can set a lot of things straight.</p><p></p><p><strong>Office </strong>:</p><p>A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.</p><p></p><p><strong>Yawn</strong>:</p><p>The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.</p><p></p><p><strong>Etc .</strong>: </p><p>A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.</p><p></p><p><strong>Committee </strong>:</p><p>Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.</p><p></p><p><strong>Experience</strong>:</p><p>The name men give to their mistakes.</p><p></p><p><strong>Atom Bomb</strong>:</p><p>An invention to end all inventions.</p><p></p><p><strong>Philosopher </strong>: </p><p>A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="b00n, post: 2265088, member: 16751"] Sorry, still can't locate the BUddha story I'm talking about. But here's a few definitions to ponder upon: [B]School[/B]: A place where Papa pays and Son plays. [B]Life Insurance[/B]: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. [B]Nurse[/B]: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. [B]Marriage[/B]: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. [B]Divorce[/B]: Future tense of Marriage. [B]Tears[/B]: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. [B]Lecture[/B]: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" [B]Conference[/B]: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. [B]Compromise[/B]: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. [B]Dictionary [/B]: A place where success comes before work. [B]Conference Room[/B]: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. [B]Father[/B]: A banker provided by nature. [B]Criminal[/B]: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. [B]Boss [/B]: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. [B]Politician [/B]: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. [B]Doctor [/B]: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. [B]Classic[/B]: Books, which people praise, but do not read. [B]Smile[/B]: curve that can set a lot of things straight. [B]Office [/B]: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. [B]Yawn[/B]: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. [B]Etc .[/B]: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. [B]Committee [/B]: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. [B]Experience[/B]: The name men give to their mistakes. [B]Atom Bomb[/B]: An invention to end all inventions. [B]Philosopher [/B]: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead [/QUOTE]
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