Third party in relationship

[bryan90s]

what would you say about it?

i met with a nice girl. We are close-friend for a few months. i think both of us are happy about that. we share alot of common interest. lets say we are very close friend.

To be frank i do have feeling for her since the first day. After sometime i got the info from her friend that she is actually someone's gf. I mean if she is really being with someone, then alot of thing shouldnt have happened between us la. Until now, she never mention anything about this.

Now deep down inside me, i dont know whether i should continue seeing her. Will this stop u guys from going after someone u love?

 

[koolspyda]

buat-tak-tahu? alot of things happen between you two.....

wheres the popcorn?

 

[simonchangwaimun]

if ur a 3rd party...
if ur happy...i dun see any reason y you should hold back
she's not married...she still can choose
but thats juz an opinion
my principles are against disturbing someone else's gf

 

[tcy]

try stop seeing her and see wat happens next :P

 

[EcstacyElmo]

if the bf is an ass...then go...tats wat i did
or, u just b normal friends with her, see if she mention anything, if she say anything about unhappy with her bf all u can do is listen, u cant take action, so wait til she take her own action and if u are in a position for advantage then go ahead

 

[satria_95]

I think there's already a few of this kinda third-party-in-a-relationship threads la. hehe

bryan90s,
3-some ma. hehehe Just kidding. This is actually a rather subjective discussion. There are both right and wrong ways in whatever point of view that you may want to look at. Here are the contradictory views.

If you go after her, it is not wrong. Why? Because she's not married and she's still entitled to choose. The final decision lies with the lady. If she's really strong hearted for her bf, she won't be affected by your courting game. If she's weak and the fire for her bf just ain't really that bright and strong anymore, then she may just fall for you. But if you do this, maybe you would remember that if she can split with her bf just for you, she may split with you just for another guy. Having considered that, you could just enjoy whatever time you may have with her. If you do this also, you may have a bad reputation for stealing people's girl. If word goes around, the light on you won't be good. I think you would be able to work out the consequences.

If you stay away from her and not disturb her relationship, she won't have that chance to fall for you and thus, will still be with her bf without external disturbances, so to speak. Your reputation would not be tarnished. The only thing is that she may be the one for you and you for her, but you've let that chance pass. Yet again, I'm sure you will know that she is not the only one who will be suitable for you. There's heaps of girls out there and it's only a matter of time before you forget this girl and find another one, either unnaturally or naturally. :)

For me, personally, I won't disturb other people's relationship, although I did once. But I don't wanna do it again. If I don't do anything but the girl automatically likes me, then that's a different story altogether. haha

That's what I think la. hehe

 

[2zzge]

all the time....most of the couple when their gf is pretty....third party easily occur

 

[MiLd7]

just wanna know... if she already married then u r really third party!! but if both of u not yet married wat for u hold back???? just start ur engine n on ur launched control to high boost!!! aim on target n go!!!!!!!!! at least u get wat u love!!!! no worry!!!

me experience as 4th party n grab my ex gf as ppl's 3rd party!!!!

 

[tcy]

all the time....most of the couple when their gf is pretty....third party easily occur

hoi.. u saying my gf not pretty ar! hehehehehehehehe :baring_teeth:

 

[henria86]

third party relationships.....

hello
been there done that it stinks to high heaven..
1 u like to be the third fiddle ??
2 the fall back guy??
3 or the person that likes to have there buttons pushed...
4 if u can stand being the third person is fine..
5 do 1 to others like u want to be done! it means what comes around goes around!!
6 but if shes married an if ur just in it for the porking that go for it..she goes back to her husband, an no tied ends..
but from me... i would reather be number 1
henri

 

[bikinigal]

get a clarification from her 1st...
if she's attached, stay away~
if she's not, be a good fren and c how it goes from there...

it hurts when there's a 3rd party in a relationship..don think it only hurt the bf, it hurt the gal as well....she might fell for u, but she might had a bad time trying to figure out who to be with....and at the same time, cant just leave her bf just like dat...
it's tough~~

need my opinion? i'm ....
been there, still there~~hanging~

 

[jc@]

basically its not wrong for you to go after her, but if the girl will easily go with you and ditch his boy, i guess the same thing will happen again.
no offence ya

 

[invisibleghost]

but the girl is wrong by not revealing her 'status'(mean she has bf). sound like cheating him (both bryan n her bf)
and abt being nice. i have seen some girls who r nice as a friend but once u get to know her better, it's 'slightly' different story.

no offence, ya. jz my 2 cents

 

[links]

ask her whether she has bf or not...also go check up yourself. if she tell you she dont have bf but you have good proof to believe that she actually is attach with someone then i advise you better dont get too serious with this girl.

Why? think about it, if she can do this to you and she can go tell other guys she dont have bf when you get together with her....

there are girls who like to flirt around and always looking for "better" men....to stay with this kind of ladies you will have alot of stress unless you are open enough to take it.

I met this kind of girl before, she has bf..but she said no..then trying to get you to go after her because she enjoy the feeling of being "treasure" by many guys....usually we call this kind of girl-------B!tch.......sorry if its too rude..

 

[koolspyda]

ask her whether she has bf or not...also go check up yourself. if she tell you she dont have bf but you have good proof to believe that she actually is attach with someone then i advise you better dont get too serious with this girl.

Why? think about it, if she can do this to you and she can go tell other guys she dont have bf when you get together with her....

there are girls who like to flirt around and always looking for "better" men....to stay with this kind of ladies you will have alot of stress unless you are open enough to take it.

I met this kind of girl before, she has bf..but she said no..then trying to get you to go after her because she enjoy the feeling of being "treasure" by many guys....usually we call this kind of girl-------B!tch.......sorry if its too rude..

de girl feel treasured by guys ....sigh. fact of life.

 

[links]

yes, this has been a common topic in recent hk discussion forum, guys open thread complaint that those girls are too bitchy are gave them a name "kong girl" meaning typical hongkong style girl...but this kind of girl not only exist in hk only, i think in msia and SG also got quite a number of this kind.

typical character they defined in "kong girl" include:

1)request guy to buy branded stuff to them, if dont buy then it means the guy dont love them.

2)always think guys have to treat them like queen, but they dont need to feel gracious to guys who treat them nice

3)always assume that they are the prettiest in the world and to be their bf must have high income, low income earner are loser

4)have a long list of qualifications for guys to comply as their bf

5)guys cannot have other female friends but they can have male friends and the guys cannot complain about it.

6)all expenses must be paid by the guy, guy who request seperate bill is a scumbag.

7).......

too many to type....i think got around 60 characters

if you can read chinese go check out here:

http://hkgirl.atspace.com/front.htm



and ppl made good definations in here:

http://zh.uncyclopedia.info/wiki/港女

http://zh.uncyclopedia.info/wiki/公主症候群

 

[bryan90s]

ok lets put this clear. If i wasnt told by others, that she is actually someone's gf
. i wouldnt know even up till now. Things are going rather normal. Just like any other courting. u know, things which you all do when wooing a girl. Going out, diners, movies, chit chat til late hours, 50 sms a day,....u name it and i did it b4 with her.

No she dint ask for luxurius gift or need me to spend on everything.

Is just that, she dint wan to tell me she has got a bf. Well actually i should have
know this long time ago, coz occassionaly she refuse to answer calls and just let it
ring like that. When ask who is that, she just say is either from company o etc.Sigh......i guess thts her bf calling.

 

[links]

she has the intention to step on two boats with one leg....so you better think clearly....

do you mind to share your gf with other???

 

[satria_95]

bryan90s,
I believe you know what's right and wrong, dude. Live a simple life. There's many other girls out there who you've not met. Come. I introduce you to some girls, who'll in turn introduce you to more girls, who in turn will intro more girls to you, who'll then intro more girls to you, and finally, they will also introduce more girls to you. That time, you'll be so scared, you'll ask for a part in BrokeBack Mountain. hahaha

 

[bikinigal]

i've did dat......
sometimes, it's not dat she dont wanna tell u...it's because she's feeling bad...to u, and to her bf at the same time...
think about it, y must a gal, happily attached to a relationship wanna give chance to other guy to court her? there must be reasons to it...

mine's exactly like wat u said. i have a bf, D, who give me all the freedom in the world..he dont mind me going out for dinner with other ppl, as in because i'm in marketing line and i need to meet ppl...he's a homie kind, go work, come home, watch movie, internet chatting then sleep...so, it's ok for a long term as we only meet like once in a while after work for dinner or hang out at his house, once in a while when 'i'm free'.....

B, new guy, met me only once, told me it's love at 1st sight with me..and i buy it...he really have a love at 1st sight...making me his queen...never say 'no' to me, never say 'cannot' to me...treat me at his best...and i kindda like to hang out with him...nice guy, how can a gal resist?

but when it come to midnite calls...it's not dat i avoid B's call but i cant pick up when i'm chatting with D, which, somehow, is the priority as he is my bf...i'll call back to him once i'm done and we'll have chat till wee hour....

so, same applies to ur problem, bryan....she will still pick up ur call, after she finish with her bf...

question is, do u think u r worth being treat dat way? u are worth more than being the 3rd party...it's never easy...u'll hurt urself...and the gal too....she likes u, she's attached too...so, wat can she do? choose? IT'S EASIER SAID THAN DONE!:confused_smile:

ok lets put this clear. If i wasnt told by others, that she is actually someone's gf
. i wouldnt know even up till now. Things are going rather normal. Just like any other courting. u know, things which you all do when wooing a girl. Going out, diners, movies, chit chat til late hours, 50 sms a day,....u name it and i did it b4 with her.

No she dint ask for luxurius gift or need me to spend on everything.

Is just that, she dint wan to tell me she has got a bf. Well actually i should have
know this long time ago, coz occassionaly she refuse to answer calls and just let it
ring like that. When ask who is that, she just say is either from company o etc.Sigh......i guess thts her bf calling.