JeSt fOr LaUgHs...

melody

9,000 RPM
Senior Member
Thread starter
Jun 9, 2005
9,779
278
1,683
ipoh
Playing Golf


A man is playing golf with his wife. They have just finished the first, when a ball comes flying over, knocking the woman to the ground.

The husband couldn't revive his wife, so he ran all the way to the clubhouse.

"Is there a doctor in the house, my wife has just been hit by a golf ball" he called.

"I'm a doctor", chimed up an old chap at the bar, "where was she hit?"

The man replied "in between the first and the second holes."

The doctor said "blimp, that won't leave much room for a bandage!"

===

On a train there's a woman reading a book. The man sitting next to her says, “Hi, couldn’t help but notice the book you’re reading.”

“Yes, it’s about finding sexual satisfaction. It’s interesting. Did you know that, statistically, American Indians and Polish men are the best lovers? By the way, my name is Jill. What’s yours?”

“Flying Cloud Kowalski. Nice to meet you.”

===

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, and the custody of their children created a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should keep custody of them.

The man also wanted custody, and the judge asked him to justify his demand.

After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or to the machine?”
 

melody

9,000 RPM
Senior Member
Thread starter
Jun 9, 2005
9,779
278
1,683
ipoh
Animal Instincts

A woman is very distressed because she has not been married
very long, and yet her husband has lost interest in having sex.

So, she goes to see her doctor, and relays the problem.

The doctor doesn't seem worried at all and tells her that this
is nothing serious, that her husband has merely lost his animal
instincts.

The doctor tells her to crumble some dog biscuits on her husband's
cereal every morning without telling him, and little by little
this will bring out the savage beast in him. He wishes her good
luck and tells her to come back in a week with a progress report.
A week later the woman returns to the doctor, who asks how her
husband is.

"He's dead," she replies.

"Dead?" the doctor asked. "What happened?"

The woman replied, "He was sitting on the driveway licking
his balls, and I backed over him with the car."

=====

"Get this." said the bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was down the pub with you guys,
a burglar broke into my house. "Did he get anything." his mates asked. "yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."
 

melody

9,000 RPM
Senior Member
Thread starter
Jun 9, 2005
9,779
278
1,683
ipoh
The Whore House

Two guys go into a whore house. The first guy goes into the whore's room.
She's laying there naked, but he sees this *HUGE* scab right on here pussy.
He's so disgusted, he jumps out the window. (It's only on the first floor,
he lives.) The other guy is waiting in the hall, and getting hornier by
the minute. Soon, he figures his buddy must be finished, so he goes in.
He sees the *HUGE* scab, but he's soo excited, he just rips it off and
throws it out the window. He fucks her, pays her, and leaves. He finds
his friend sitting outside the building and says, "Sorry I took so long,
she was really good."

His friend says, "That's alright, I had time to eat that pizza you
threw down to me."

=====

A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer.
One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk.

The young man said "I took the liberty of milking your cow this morning!"
He then continues and says " it took me a while to get her started up.
She must be old and stubbly."

The uncle says with a confused look " Um son we don't have a cow...We have a bull!"
 

Random Post Every 5 Minutes

hello to all....

I just need a favour from ya'll....
firstly how much I've to spend to change my KE-70 engine..
which 1 is better...
1: 4age
2: 4agze

are that engine c/w N/A @ Superchagred..which 1 is better performance..coz I'm a crazy driver who luv drive fast..
at least I got 200km/J++...hehehe :dancing2:

I also need to change my steering to power steering & any parts that makes me comfort to drive fast...

plz...anyone help me.

tq...
KONTENA
Ask a question, start a discussion or post something for sale!
Post thread

Online now

Enjoying Zerotohundred?

Log-in for an ad-less experience