Cool Meanings

melody

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Cool meanings



Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
***********

Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than
a five-day test.
***********

Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
***********

Divorce:

Future tense of marriage
***********

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the
notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
***********

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
***********

Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got
the biggest piece.
***********

Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.
***********

Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.
***********

Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
***********

Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
***********

Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.
***********

Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
***********

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
***********

Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
***********

Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
***********

Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing
can be done together.
***********

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.
***********

Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.
***********

Philosopher :

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
***********

Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually
look forward to the trip.
***********

Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
***********

Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.
***********

Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
***********

Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
***********

Father:

A banker provided by nature.
***********

Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.
***********

Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
***********

Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
***********

Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills .

***********
 

melody

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melody

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CoOl LoGics..


Education ruined me.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....


Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect..... .
So why practice?

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......


If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....


Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ...


How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......


Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....


If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
It's your stupidity.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ........


Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two woman.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ...


Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
Life.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .......


The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ........


Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ........


Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......


"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....


There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..


"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ...


"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....


God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .


The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ........


A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station....
What more can I say........
 

melody

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Principles of life



* Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.


* You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.


* When everything else is lost, the future still remains.


*Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war .


* The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.


* If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.


* If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.


* Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.


* You won't get a second chance to make the first impression .


* Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.


* Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.


* If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.


* Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.


* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.


* Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything


* There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.


* Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.


* All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.


* Change your thoughts and you change your world.


* Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.


* There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise and those who don't take it.


* The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.


* Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.


* Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship.
 

melody

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SOME LOGICAL THOUGHTS


Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.


_____



To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

_____



The road to success??.. Is always under construction.

_____



Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

_____



In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.


_____



All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

_____



Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

_____



Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.

_____



If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

_____



You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.


_____



Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

_____



***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****


_____



As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.

_____



He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.


_____



If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.

_____



Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.


_____



When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.


_____



If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.

_____



Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.


_____



You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.


_____



The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

_____



After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.


_____



If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

_____



Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
 

melody

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Advertisement In A Long Island Shop: Guitar, for sale....... Cheap....... ....no strings attached .

Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off .

Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."

Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.

Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.

The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.

Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.

A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.

Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !
 

melody

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Contrary Proverbs :



All good things come to those who wait.
BUT
Time and tide wait for no man.



The pen is mightier than the sword.
BUT
Actions speak louder than words.



Wise men think alike.
BUT
Fools seldom differ.



The best things in life are free
BUT
There's no such thing as a free lunch



Slow and steady wins the race
BUT
Time waits for no man



Look before you leap
BUT
Strike while the iron is hot



Do it well, or not at all.
BUT
Half a loaf is better than none.



Birds of a feather flock together.
BUT
Opposites attract..



Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.
BUT
Forewarned is forearmed.



Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
BUT
Faith will move mountains.



Great starts make great finishes.
BUT
It ain't over 'till it's over.



Practice makes perfect.
BUT
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.



Silence is golden.
BUT
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.



You're never too old to learn.
BUT
You can't teach an old dog new tricks



What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
BUT
One man's meat is another man's poison.



Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
BUT
Out of sight, out of mind.


Too many cooks spoil the broth.
BUT
Many hands make light work.



Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
BUT
Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.​
 

melody

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What If I Have Failed

When it looks like I have​

Failure doesn't mean I'm a failure.
It does mean I haven't yet succeeded.

Failure doesn't mean I have accomplished nothing.
It does mean I have learned something.

Failure doesn't mean I have been a fool.
It does mean I had enough faith to experiment.

Failure doesn't mean I have been disgraced.
It does mean I dared to try.

Failure doesn't mean I don't have it.
It does mean I have to do something a different way.

Failure doesn't mean I am inferior.
It does mean I am not perfect.

Failure doesn't mean I should give up.
It does mean I should try harder.
 

melody

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A very interesting collection of quotes to reflect on. Hope you like it.


1) IN A DAY, WHEN YOU DON'T COME ACROSS ANY PROBLEMS - YOU CAN BE SURE THAT YOU ARE TRAVELLING IN A WRONG PATH - SWAMI VIVEKANANDA

2) 3 SENTENCES FOR GETTING SUCCESS
a) KNOW MORE THAN OTHER
B) WORK MORE THAN OTHER
C) EXPECT LESS THAN OTHER - WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

3) IF YOU WIN YOU NEED NOT EXPLAIN ... BUT IF YOU LOSE YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE TO EXPLAIN - ADOLPH HITLER

4) DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF WITH ANYONE IN THIS WORLD .IF YOU DO SO, YOU ARE INSULTING YOURSELF - ALEN STRIKE

5) IF WE CANNOT LOVE THE PERSON WHOM WE SEE,HOW CAN WE LOVE GOD,WHOM WE CANNOT SEE ? --- MOTHER THERESA

6) NO MAN IS RICH ENOUGH TO BUY HIS PAST - - OSCAR WILDE

7) IF YOU WANT REAL PEACE DON'T TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS , TALK WITH YOUR ENEMIES - - - MOTHER THERESA

8) WINNING DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN BEING FIRST , WINNING MEANS YOU'RE DOING BETTER THAN YOU'VE DONE BEFORE - - - BONNIE BLAIR

9) EVERYONE THINKS OF CHANGING THE WORLD , BUT NO ONE THINKS OF CHANGING HIMSELF . - - - LEO TOLSTOY

10) I WILL NOT SAY I FAILED 1000 TIMES , I WILL SAY THAT I DISCOVERED THERE ARE 1000 WAYS THAT CAN CAUSE FAILURE - - THOMAS EDISON

11) BELIEVING EVERYBODY IS DANGEROUS; BELIEVING NOBODY IS VERY DANGEROUS -- ABRAHAM LINCOLN

12) LOVE YOUR JOB BUT NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR COMPANY BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNEW WHEN IT STOPS LOVING YOU ... - - ABDUL KALAM

13) IF SOMEONE FEELS THAT THEY HAD NEVER MADE A MISTAKE IN THEIR LIFE,THEN IT MEANS THEY HAD NEVER TRIED A NEW THING IN THEIR LIFE - - - - - EINSTEIN

14) NEVER BREAK FOUR THINGS IN YOUR LIFE
TRUST, PROMISE, RELATION, HEART BECAUSE WHEN THEY BREAK THEY DON'T MAKE NOISE BUT PAINS A LOT - CHARLES

15) IF YOU START JUDGING PEOPLE YOU WILL BE HAVING NO TIME TO LOVE THEM - - - - - MOTHER THERESA
 

melody

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Quote of the Day​

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds;

And the pessimist fears this is true.​
 

melody

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People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


Everyone has problems, some are just better at hiding them.
Unknown
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


If we did all the things that we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.
Thomas Edison
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----



Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.
Dennis P. Kimbro
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
Thich Nhat Hahn
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.
Stephen Vincent Benét
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


Only by going too far can one possibly find out how far one can go.
Jon dyer
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


People only see what they are prepared to see.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


Don't be afraid to fail because only through failure do you learn to succeed.
Unknown
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


Learn from the mistakes of others.
You can't live long enough to make them all yourself
Unknown
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


The tongue weighs practically nothing,
But so few people can hold it.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


Many people will walk in and out or your life,
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


To handle yourself, use your head, To handle others, use your heart.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


If someone betrays you once, it's his fault.
If he betrays you twice, it's your fault.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----


God Gives every bird it's food,
But he does not throw it into it's nest.
 

melody

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T


Respect your elders all if they deserve;
Respect your servants too who you well serve;
Respect your father for tilling the soil;
Respect your mother for her love and toil.

Respect all teachers who gave you knowledge;
Respect your friend who saved you from the ledge;
Respect all good minds who advised you good;
Respect the man of God who gave soul's food.

Respect all strangers who were all Godsends;
Respect your foes who taught you self-defense;
Respect those evil men who you troubled;
Respect the tempter who well you misled.

Respect your conscience which tells you what's right;
Respect your God who is your Friend and Guide.