Joke

[Papoose]

Most of us will answer differently :)
-------------------------------------------------

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students the teacher asked," Boy . what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office.
While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would
give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the first-gradeand behave.She agreed. Boy was brought in and
the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".

And so itwent with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy .
can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy . both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."

Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,delicious
and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer, Boy . was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three leg s? The principal's eyes open really wide and before
he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless,a bit
tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What wordstar ts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u
have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
thanon others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy . to College, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!"

 

[ModMaestro]

since we're talking about lewd jokes, here's one

What's the difference between a baby and a grandma?



A grandma won't die when I fuck her up the ass

 

[AlucarD]

ModMestro, WTF sick joke is this??

This is not lewd or funny at all. Its sickening..

 

[Papoose]

i agree wit AlucarD. Its kinda sick dude. lolololol

 

[satria_95]

I got a joke.

P.Lah and Samy.V was in a helicopter flying all over KL. They were enjoying the sight of KL from the sky. P.Lah said (trying to be caring but obviously, he doesn't give a damn about anything or anyone), "if I take this 1 piece of RM100 and throw it down, someone will catch it. When that someone catches it, he/she will be happy. Hence, this 1 piece of RM100 can make 1 person happy."
Samy.V, trying to be a smart (which obviously he isn't), says, "If I take 2 pieces of RM50 and throw it down, 2 people will catch it. Hence, I can make 2 people happy, with 2 pieces of RM50, and it's the same amount as RM100 when totalled up".
The helicopter pilot told them, "If I throw both of you down from this height and you crash below and die, I can make ALL malaysians happy, instead of just 1 or 2 people".

 

[Vagabond]

oh come on , it wasnt a sick joke.

it's called black humour in the united states , its commonly used to raised a smile there.

its merely american humour.

 

[satria_95]

Sick joke or not, just let it be. Why bother to even call it a sick joke. It's not that modmaestro is really gonna fark a grandma in her ass. haha

 

[eyong]

Rather than starting a NEW thread, here are some practical jokes on cars:

Car Practical Jokes

1. Putting diesel up their exhaust so it made a pile of black smoke when it heated up

2. Smashing a blinker light inside their boot, putting the exposed filament/wire assembly in a sealed plastic coke bottle full of oxy, shutting the boot and waiting for them to make a turn

3. Rubbing a thin film of vaseline on their windscreen wiper blades and watching them trying to cope with the resulting aqua-mayhem next time it rained

4. Shoving rocks/small fish in the hubcaps
Switching about their spark plug leads to make the car run like a bag of shit and backfire

5. Greasing the door handles

6. Vegemite on extractors.

7. Fine confetti in air-con vents

8. Wiring brakes to horn. :)

9. High beam to air horn

10. Shrink wrapping the whole car and then dumping crap all over it

11. Stuck biro's up exhaust pipe till they fell in the muffler....they make a lovely rattley sound.

12. Stuck banana up tail pipe.

13. Jammed golfball up my old english teacher's *cuss, spit* 120Y tailpipe.

14. Lifted up Suzuki Handivan that was in an underground carpark underneath our unit at schoolies and moved it so that the drivers door was a couple of inches away from a wall and passenger door was a couple of inches away from pole.

..and the perennial favourite: 15. Dismantling a car and rebuilding it inside someones office



Note: I do NOT condone any of this activity, most are harmless though :)

 

[Papoose]

When I got home from work last night, my wife demanded

that I take her out to some place expensive... ......... .... ....








I took her to the gas station................... lol

 

[eyong]

When I got home from work last night, my wife demanded

that I take her out to some place expensive... ......... .... ....








I took her to the gas station................... lol

Waaaah Hahahahaha ... That's a good one ...