This made my eyes wet
Every Friday afternoon, after the Jumma prayers, the Imam and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out "PATH TO PARADISE" and other Islamic literature.
This particular and fortunate Friday afternoon, as the time came for the Imam and his son to go to the streets with their booklets, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring rain.
The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, 'OK, dad, I'm ready!'
His dad asked, 'Ready for what' 'Dad, it's time we go out and distribute these Islamic books.'
Dad responds, 'Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring rain.'
The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, 'But Dad, aren't people still going to hell, even though it's raining?'
Dad answers, 'Son, I am not going out in this weather.'
Despondently, the boy asks, 'Dad, can I go Please'
His father hesitated for a moment then said, 'Son, you can go. Here are the booklets. Be careful son.'
'Thanks, Dad!'
And with that, he was off and out into the rain. This eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in the street a pamphlet or a booklet.
After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wet and down to his VERY LAST BOOKLET. He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a booklet to, but the streets were totally deserted.
Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered..
He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer.
Finally, he turned to leave, but something stopped him.
Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch!
He rang again and this time the door slowly opened.
Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly asked, 'What can I do for you, son?' With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy said, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that ALLAH REALLY LOVES AND CARES FOR YOU and I came to give you my very last booklet which will tell you all about God, the real purpose of creation, and how to achieve His pleasure.'
With that, he handed her his last booklet and turned to leave.
She called to him as he departed. 'Thank you, son! And God Bless You!'
Next week on Friday afternoon after Jumma prayers, the Imam was giving some lectures. As he concludes the lectures, he asked, 'Does anybody have questions or want to say anything?'
Slowly, in the back row among the ladies, an elderly lady's voice was heard over the speaker.
'No one in this gathering knows me. I've never been here before. You see, before last Friday I was not a Muslim, and thought I could be. My husband died few years ago, leaving me totally alone in this world.. Last Friday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, i was contemplating suicide as i had no hope left.
So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home.. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and broken-hearted I was about to leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away.
I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly....
I thought to myself again, 'Who on earth could this be? Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me.' I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder.
When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, 'Ma'am, I just came to tell you that ALLAH REALLY LOVES AND CARES FOR YOU!'
Then he gave me this booklet, Path To Paradise that I now hold in my hand.
As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this book. Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them any more.
You see? I am now a Happy Vicegerent of the One True God. Since the address of your congregation was stamped on the back of this booklet, I have come here to personally say THANK YOU to God's little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell.'
There was not a dry eye in the mosque. The shouts of TAKBIR...ALLAH AKBAR.. rented the air.
Imam-Dad descended from the pulpit to the front row where the little angel was seated....
He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably.
Probably no jama'at has had a more glorious moment, and probably this universe has never seen a father that was more filled with love and honor for his son... Except for One. This very one...
Blessed are your eyes for reading this message.
---------- Post added at 09:06 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:04 AM ----------
ONCE YOU'VE READ THIS YOU'LL UNDERSTAND!
A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.
It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son.. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.
Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.
"Jack, did you hear me?"
"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said
"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.
"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.
"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said
"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him.. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.
As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr.. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away..
The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.
Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture......Jack stopped suddenly.
"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.
"The box is gone," he said
"What box?" Mom asked..
"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.
It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.
"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."
It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.
Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read.
Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.
"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box.. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch .
Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.. Inside he found these words engraved:
"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."
"The thing he valued most was...my time"
Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.
"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.
"Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!"
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"
Think about this. You may not realize it, but it could be100% true.
1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3! . A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
4. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
5. You mean the world to someone.
6. If not for you, someone may not be living.
7. You are special and unique.
8. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you trust yourself to do what's best, and wait on or persevere, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
11. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
12. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
13. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
---------- Post added at 09:07 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:06 AM ----------
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
---------- Post added at 09:07 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:07 AM ----------
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied,
"That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
---------- Post added at 09:09 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:07 AM ----------
Now these are really funny and actually creative out of office replies.
So any time you are pissed off with your boss or customer, you can use them to let them know how you feel.
Use at your own risk
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2: I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.’ (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
9: Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
10: Hi. I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
11: Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me any messages.
12: I’ve run away to join a different circus.
AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE :
13: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Loretta’ instead of ‘Steve’.
---------- Post added at 09:10 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:09 AM ----------
Crazy Facts - for all who need a good laugh
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it !)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig..)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes.. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light..
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle. .
In other words, send it to everyone !
(and God love that pig!)
---------- Post added at 09:10 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:10 AM ----------
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.'
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The
agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.'
Finally, it was the woman's turn.. She was given the same instructions, to
kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were
heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the wall s. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I
had to beat him to death with the chair.'
MORAL:
Don't mess around with Women - they get the job done - no matter what it is!!!
---------- Post added at 09:12 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:10 AM ----------
Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar, drinking shot after shot.
The Indian man said to the American, 'You know... my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once..' We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now, I've a hell lot of family problems.'
The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story...
I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.
Legally, now my daughter is my mother and my wife is my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle too...
Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, also legally my brother, is my grandson.. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.. And you say you have family problems...???"
---------- Post added at 09:13 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:12 AM ----------
Najib's Joke !!!!!!!!!
________________________________
Najib Tun Razak was visiting a school.
In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," Najib says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside...that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Najib. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.
"What?" asks Najib, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says, "If an airplane carrying you and Datin Seri Rosmah was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."
"Wonderful" Najib beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"
The Principal & Staff of the school got transferred out.
---------- Post added at 09:14 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:13 AM ----------
Karangan Terbaik UPSR 2007
Karangan budak darjah 4
Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.
Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.
Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit “Adoi!”. Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.
Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting
Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.
Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit “Adoi..!” dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.
Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.
Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.
---------- Post added at 09:15 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:14 AM ----------
HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES
1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new employees in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.
Then analyze the situation:
1) If they are counting the bricks put them in the Accounting Department.
2) If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
3) If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
4) If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
5) If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
6) If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
7) If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
8) If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
9) If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
10) If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
11) If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
12) If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Government.
---------- Post added at 09:16 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:15 AM ----------
LAST EVACUATION DRILL
In a large multinational company..............
A fire alarm rang at 4 PM in a large office when almost all employees
were in office (approx 5000). As usual the entire office was evacuated
within 3 mins & all employees gathered outside the office in the designated area
waiting for further announcement.
The Security Officer in charge made the following announcement: "Dear
employees - with sincere regret I have been asked to announce that for
many of you it will be your last evacuation drill. Due to the recession
the company is laying off almost 50% of its employees. So when this
announcement finishes, I ask all of you to move back into the building
and if your swipe card does not work then it means you have been laid
off in which case you will not be allowed inside and all your belongings
will be couriered to you by tomorrow.
The Company has used this innovative approach as we didn't want to fill
up the email box with lay-off mails and good bye mails in thousands &
also to avoid any fight inside the office and the consequent security
issue for all staff.
Hope you have had a rewarding career with us and all the best ahead.
Please move back in & try your luck".
---------- Post added at 09:17 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:16 AM ----------
Samy Vellu was visiting India when he fell and broke his jaw.
He was unable to speak. Being the great leader that he is, he
continued his grand tour.
On the last week of his visit, although unable to speak, Samy insisted
on sending a message home to his Cabinet colleagues. Samy caught a
chicken and showed it to the camera. Next he took a goat, and showed it to
the camera. Finally he took a bag and displayed it in front of the camera.
Dr Ling was the first to see the video clip. He said, "Samy is
telling us that India has insufficient food because he showed us a
chicken and a goat and he wants Malaysia to donate bags of rice."
Mahathir watched silently then said,"No lah....what Samy is trying to
say is HE IS COMING BACK.
The whole Cabinet was puzzled and look to the old man for an
expla nation. Mahathir reasoned, "AYAM KAMBING BAG." ("I am coming back"
in Indian accent).
---------- Post added at 09:18 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:17 AM ----------
40 Tips for Better Life - 2008
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.. Buy a lock if you have to.
3.. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of warm water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree..
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. GOD heals almost everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36.. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!) Hey I’m think’n of ya! =)
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.
May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more, May nothing but happiness come through your door!.
---------- Post added at 09:20 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 09:18 AM ----------
Have you heard about the proposal between KIA of Korea
and SUZUKI of Japan to set up a joint venture company in
Singapore to build a hybrid car which will be named KIASU?
Have you seen the Made-in-Malaysia car 'Kancil'?
You know, that very little 600 cc car ???
Well, Dr M really wanted to sell it to the US ,
so when Dr M paid a visit to the White House after
finishing formal discussions with George Bush,
Dr M checks with Bush to find out if there is a way
to sell the Kancil in the USA .
After having looked at the brochure, Bush said,
You know, I think this 'Ken-chill' is too small for us Americans.
Not one who gives up easily, Dr M persisted and finally
Bush offered, 'Ok, take this number down.
This guy is my good buddy and he's also the CEO of the
biggest compact car distributor in North America '.
Dr M was satisfied with the meeting and return to Malaysia .
The next day he called the number and a lady answered,
''TOYS R US', Can I help you'
There are three major races in Malaysia - Malay,
Chinese and Indian
The Malays have the political power and so they set
up the party UMNO, which literally means
'U Must Not Object'.
The Chinese, on the other hand, controls most of the
economy and they called their party MCA
which means 'Money Conquers All'.
Then there are the Indians who have no say in
politics or economics.
They set up their party called MIC. Hence,
every parliamentary meeting the Indians would ask:
'Must I Come?'
One fine day, Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong visited India
to meet their PM to negotiate trade terms.
During the lunch break the Prime Minister of India
suggested taking PM Goh for a spin in his helicopter
and view India 's city lifestyle.
As PM Goh was enjoying the bird's eye view from above,
he noticed an overpopulated village with unhygienic living
conditions. A man was even shitting in his backyard.
PM Goh was fast to comment how unsightly it is and
that India 's people are so uncivilised.
India 's PM was so humiliated and vowed to himself that
he'll humiliate PM Goh when he gets to visit S'pore.
When he really did visit S'pore the following month,
PM Goh too offered him a ride in his helicopter to see
the Singaporean lifestyle.
For a whole hour, India 's PM was trying hard to spot a fault.
Finally he saw a place where people literaly littered the streets,
and as he had a closer look, he even noticed a man shitting on
the grass verge.
He quickly pointed out to PM Goh about it and said,
'You said Singapore was nothing like India .
How do you account for this?'
PM Goh looked closer, smiled and replied
'Aaahhh.. we call that place - 'Little India'.
